Chris’ Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2017

Chris’ Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2017

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Even if a year is “Good,” there will always be a bad movie.

Now with that said, this list is all my opinion. What I think is “Bad,” doesn’t mean that you think it is. You may love it and I may have seen it in a totally different light than you. 

I also want to state there probably won’t be a bunch of the “Conventional” picks on here. I did not see the Emoji Movie. I mean, I could put that on here just by reputation alone but if I didn’t see it, it doesn’t count.

Now, are you ready? Because I think some of these will surprise you. Let’s begin.

10. Kong: Skull Island

Score: 3/10 (Skip It)

RT: 79%

When this film came out, I was excited. The previews made it look fun but the movie failed on so many levels. 

The action was eh. The characters were boring. The story was just there to fill up time. It was just a worthless film through and through.

At least John C. Reilly was good in it. He was essentially the only redeeming part after all.

9. Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Score: 4/10 (Redbox It)

RT: 53%

This film succeeds at being a visual spectacle and nothing else. The plot is interesting for a bit and then that becomes confusing and uninteresting after about 10 minutes.

One of the redeeming factors is that the main two characters are enjoyable for the first 5-10 minutes…. That’s about it. They also just drop off after awhile and become extremely stale.

The movie is pretty to look at. If you turn off the volume and just watch the film for it’s visuals, you’ll be fine. Other than that, there’s not much else there.

8. Atomic Blonde

Score: 4/10 (Skip It)

RT: 76%

For an action movie, this film is slow. Scenes just drag on and on. And then there’s the plot…. Oh man is it confusing.

Look, if I really payed attention to the movie, I’m sure I could’ve followed the story better but I just started zoning out after awhile. There’s just nothing here that’s really worth watching and even when’s there’s a good action scene, it’s followed up by another long talking sequence. *Sighs*

It’s really more boring than anything else. Maybe you’ll find some enjoyment from it but I surely didn’t.

7. Life

Score: 3/10 (Skip It)

RT: 66%

Did you forget about this movie? Because I did.

This film is just another boring movie. On top of that, the characters are just pointless. They’re there to die and nothing else. 

They don’t develop the crew well. The creature just becomes a knockoff alien from other Horror Space films. And the ending just makes you think there might be a sequel, even though I’m not sure if anyone would want one. It’s just bland and another forgettable movie.

6. The Mummy

Score: 4/10 (Skip It)

RT: 17%

I was more generous to this film than most critics. But that’s not saying much.

Look, it’s another confusing movie to follow. The characters are just there. And this film is supposed to setup the “Dark Universe” and it didn’t succeed at all.

I’ll give it this, Tom Cruise tried. That’s about it.

5. Ghost In The Shell

Score: 3/10 (Redbox It)

RT: 42%

I can’t tell you how badly I wanted this film to be good. Anime in America is slowly growing more popular and gaining more respect, and then this piece of shit movie comes out and sets back the anime industry another few years.

Okay, that might be exaggerating but this film didn’t help.

The movie is just all over the place. Characters just do things. Scarlett does something. The film tries bringing up provocative questions but it doesn’t have enough time to answer those like the anime does. It’s just another botched live action adaptation of an anime.

I’ll say this, I know it’s going to sound shallow, but Scarlett Johansen looks good throughout the movie. So there’s that.

4. Geostorm

Score: 3/10 (Skip It)

RT: 12%

This film is so stupid that I’m pretty sure I lost brain cells watching this thing.

I thought this movie would be like The Day After Tomorrow. Something that’s not great but at least semi entertaining enough to enjoy. Yeah….

The problem is that it has way too much science mumble jumble going on for it to be interesting. The action is short lived and it’s not that entertaining either.

If it has one thing going for it, it’s that Gerard Butler seems to be having fun. That’s about it.

3. The Circle

Score: 2/10 (Skip It)

RT: 16%

You’d think Tom Hanks and Emma Watson could make this movie interesting. But nope.

A lot of the issues with the films in this Top 10 list come down to the plot being boring/forgettable. Honestly, I forgot this movie existed until I saw someone mention it the other day. I mean, that’s sad.

There are no redeeming factors here. Tom Hanks tries a little and Emma Watson seems to put some effort forth than him but that’s about it. Everything else is long, drawn out, and uninteresting. Just don’t waste your time with this one.

2. Alien: Covenant

Score: 4/10 (Redbox It)

RT: 71%

This film is painful to watch. 

This was supposed to be a sequel to Prometheus but they brought back only one of the characters from that. (Which, I mean, they could only bring back two but they didn’t bring back the one that mattered.) Also here are too many characters and the plot tries to be something more than what it is.

Micheal Fassbender is fun throughout this movie but everything else is just wasted potential. There was no point to this film, except for one thing, and that never needed to be explained. 

Just fuck this movie.

1. Beauty And The Beast

Score: 4/10 (Redbox It)

RT: 70%

I started to hate this film more and more over time.

This was so unnecessary. The singing isn’t very good. The CGI is bleh looking. And the acting is so so. I mean, how do you take an Oscar nominated film from 1991 and fuck it up? How?

Emma Watson is the lead here and the biggest question is why? She’s not a good singer. She’s not that good of an actor. And she’s British, in a French setting. What were they thinking? 

Okay the French setting isn’t really an issue but still this film just misses on every mark it tried to set. There really wasn’t anything original done too it either. It’s not like they set out and tried to recreate the movie. They just copied scenes and music from the animated feature. So what was the point of making a live action film then? Oh right, money.

There are some decent live action movies. I mean, The Jungle Book was pretty solid. But Beauty And The Beast wasn’t. It didn’t even come close to living up to the original and it’s a shame that kids are going to grow up with this version instead of the much superior one from ’91. Just sickening.

And that’s my list. If you disagree or think I left another off, let me know in the comments below. I’ll be sure to tell you my thoughts about that particular movie, if I’ve seen it and why it didn’t make the cut.

Other than that, there might be one more small list here coming out soon. If not, this will be the official wrap up of 2017.

As usual, thanks for reading!


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